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Saturday, July 15, 2017

Real Life: Letting Go of Perfection




Enough is Enough

I have hit that point in my life where I need to make a change before it's too late. 

My name is Erin, and I am a recovering perfectionist! 

For too long I have run around waving that flag, (of perfection, not surrender) trying to do it all and wanting everything to be perfect, and I have had enough. 

I can honestly say, I am at that point where I have finally realized, perfect is a goal I will never achieve, and to be honest, I think I have known this for quite some time. I have just been struggling to let it go. You see, God gave us this thing called, free will, which means we have the choice, everyday, to choose the things that we are going to do that will consume our time. We can create to-do lists that are miles long, try to cram more hours in a day, and continuously strive and work for things that are not our purpose. And God will allow us to operate this way for awhile, until we finally realize, no matter what the plans we have in our heart, His purpose will prevail. The faster we realize this, the better off we are. I wish I could say that I realized this a lot sooner, it would have saved me a lot of worry and stress, but the flesh is weak, and that desire to prove myself and be good at something is strong. 

Yet not what I will, but what You will. -Mark 14:36 

This has been my go to verse for awhile now, and in some areas of my life I can say that I do apply this, but that's not how it should be. I can't just pick and choose what's best for me. I need to surrender it all. Every plan, every desire and dream, every need and want, I need to let go of it all and surrender control.

I started reading this book Present Over Perfect, by Shauna Neiquest. This is when I finally stopped resisting the need to change my lifestyle. She starts off one of the chapters with a famous quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald, "I hope you live a life you are proud of and if you find that you are not, I hope you find the strength to start over again". I am not saying that I am not proud of the life I have lived so far. I am simply not proud that I let perfection play such big part. Like any other crossroad in my life, God has ultimately been the deciding factor guiding me down the right path, helping to make the necessary changes before it's too late. The beauty of it all, is that everyday is chance to start over. It's really amazing when you finally realize this. Given our free will, and with the strength God gives, we can hit the restart button at any time.

So, here I am. This time waving the white flag of surrender, because I know that this is not the life God intended for me. I know that this is going to be hard and I am going to have to work to let things go daily, but I am ready for it. I have had a taste of what it's like to not care about getting it all done. I have learned how to say no to more stuff and be present in the moment. I know that perfection is not real life. I am learning everyday what I can do and how to let go of what I can't.  There will be more time to do other things that I enjoy later on, but I am currently missing out on the most important things right in front of me. It's going to be a journey and I am only at the beginning, but I made the choice and I am sticking to it. Present over perfect!

Be sure to check back next week for the second part of, Letting Go of Perfection. I will be sharing with you the many ways that we can do this and live a less stressed, more joyful life. 

Many Blessings,

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