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Thursday, October 19, 2017

Finding Courage

You would think that by now, I would be an expert at these child study team meetings, because I have been through so many, but there are still times when I get anxious and afraid before I go into them.

I am a speech pathologist in a school district, and meeting with parents to discuss very important things, is something I do on a regular basis. I've been in very long meetings before, some that did not go as planned and some that last all of 5 minutes. Emotions can run high and being a parent of my own now, I can see why.

I have this weird twitch that I seem to get whenever I get really nervous or anxious, usually during a meeting. My heart starts to race, my palms start to sweat, my voice gets really shaky, and then if it gets bad enough, the eye twitch comes. My whole body just goes crazy with adrenaline and things don't really start to go back to normal, until after the meeting is almost over. I always wonder what the parents must say to each other, after they leave.

I have gotten a better over the years. Most meetings are wonderful. They run smoothly and quickly and we are all laughing together at the end, but they're not all the way! Some are very tough, tensions and emotions are high, and we have to do our best as a professional team, to keep it together.

So why do I get this way, all anxious and sweaty, eyes twitching and heart pounding?

Fear. Confidence stealing, anxiety filling Fear!

Fear that I am going to say the wrong thing and screw up the meeting. Fear, that I don't know what I am doing, even though I have had many years of schooling and experience in this profession. Fear, that the parents aren't going to like me or think that I am being insensitive. Pretty much anything that could go wrong!

About two weeks ago, I was about to have one of these meetings that I was fearful of. Leading up to this event, the interactions were tension filled and strong willed. I prayed for God's wisdom in dealing with this situation and for Him to help me see things from a different perspective. I was feeling better about the whole situation, until two days before, we received a letter stating that they would be recording the meeting and would be seeking counsel if things did not go the way they wanted during the meeting. Any chance of NOT having my eye twitch went right out the window.

Without going into too many details, I would like to share with you how the meeting went that day. I had my usual devotions that morning and prayed for everyone and the outcome of the meeting. It was not scheduled until the end of the day, so I had to go through the whole day with it in the back of my mind. I kept running through how the meeting was going to go and what I was going to say. At lunch, I decided to go sit in my car for few minutes to clear my head. That's when God started to bring to mind all of the different times in my life, I have been faced with fear. I realized that through every situation, He was always there right by my side. With His strength and power, I have overcome may fears, and today's meeting would be no different.

It's says in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind. And that's exactly what I prayed for that day. His power & strength to just get through the meeting, breath by breath, for His love to run through me, so that my words were compassionate and grace filled, and for sound mind, so that I could use the knowledge I have to speak truth and help to create a solution for this problem.



I am happy to tell you that I made it through the meeting. Not without sweating and feeling like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest, of course, but no eye twitching! Praise God!

Friends, God never promised us an easy life without fear. He only promised to be with us every step of the way, guiding us through. All of the not so pleasant feelings that come along with it, are going to be there too, but I can tell you from my experiences, that the feeling of facing your fears and overcoming them with God's help, is a far better feeling than running from them because you are afraid!

Will you boldly go and trust Him to lead you through whatever your "meeting" is today?

Many Blessings,

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