Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Hard Stuff

"I'm so sorry, but I can't seem to find a heartbeat....... Unfortunately....., you've lost the pregnancy."

As I sat in that chair, I already knew what was just confirmed by the doctor, due to the devastating events I incurred the night before. 

I fought back the tears as I quickly got dressed and rushed out of the office. Once in my car, the sobs poured out! 

"I don't understand, Lord. I was just here yesterday and saw the baby and heard the heart beat. What happened in just those few short hours?! Can you really say this is part of your plan? 

At that moment in time, I was fighting back those words being poured out into my heart. I did not want to hear them, but they came anyway. 

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts", says the Lord. 

I know that I am not supposed to question or wonder why, but right there in that moment, I wanted an answer! 

I never got my answer, and I understand why, because I didn't want to be left thinking that it was because of something I did. In fact, I know that losing that baby had nothing to do with me or anything I did or did not do. It just wasn't part of His plan for me in that season of my life. I'm not saying that it made things any easier, but I trust in the plan that He has for me, and having that baby just wasn't part of it then. 

I wish I could tell you that I am pregnant again, but I'm not. Honestly, I can't even tell you that I am ready to start trying again, or that I even want to try! I'm scared. I'm nervous and I still get upset about it, but....

He is faithful! I am confident of that! Over these past few weeks, I have been studying the topic of faith and trust in the Bible, and my goodness, has He spoken to my heart through these verses! As I studied these verses and let them really sink in, I began to reflect on all the areas in my life where He has been more than faithful!!

I also know that when He asks you to trust Him, He really means it. The other day, I was faced with a situation where I was so overwhelmed that I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish this task I had been asked to do. Another one of my friends stepped in and told me not to worry about it, that she would take care of it. She could see that I had a lot on my plate. I thankfully accepted her help and moved on. Not thinking twice about it, but trusting that she would take care of it. Now, if I can so easily put my trust in a friend, and let go of that worry, then why can't I do the same for Him.

Friends, we can trust Him. Not just with the little things, but with everything, all of it!! He is in control of our lives and when He says He's got it, He does!!! The end!! That's it. Trust Him and move on! I promise it will bring you so much peace!!

Here are a few scriptures that really stood out to me as I studied this topic this month.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct you paths" -Proverbs 3:5-6

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see" Hebrews 11:1

I know that a lot of women have suffered through a miscarriage. I recently discovered that quite a few women I know, have actually had one too. It hasn't been easy to talk about it with them, but I am so glad that I did. It was so comforting to be able to talk, cry, and pray with other women who have been through this experience.

I want you to know, that I am praying for you today, if you have ever had to go through the pain of having a miscarriage. I want you to know that you are not alone and it does get easier! I know it's hard, but will you join me today in trusting his plan for your future?

God's plan for my life, is far greater than what has been left behind!

Many Blessings,


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Jackie!! I'm ok with it now, and I know God has something for me in His plan, so I am just trusting in Him!